to sleep or not to sleep

our son, who has a genetic disability, has a problem getting to sleep and staying that way without the medications we give him. even with the meds there are nights where he wakes up and won't go back to sleep or takes a couple hours to get to sleep. this means one of his parents (usually me!) is up with him, as he can't be left alone unattended. this past month of december has seen more than its share of sleep disturbed nights.

so it was with great joy and anticipation that michael and i got away for a weekend without our son. michael usually wakes up early, but that next morning we both slept in. it was heaven! that night we stayed up late and again slept in longer than before. what a sweet gift.

i was pondering on the effects sleep and lack of sleep have on me. when i get a good nights sleep i'm renewed, energized, and ready to tackle whatever the day holds. when i am sleep deprived, no amount of coffee or sugar will energize me. i go thru the day in slow motion, yawning constantly. every action an effort that drains the few reserves i have.

i have noticed a similar reaction in my life when i don't have my time with the Lord. i made it a higher priority this past year to read the Word and have some structured prayer time in the mornings. when i did have that time with God, my days were focused, energized, and alert. i had a strength that did not come from within me. but on those days that i forgot, or skipped that time with the Lord were harder to get thru. little things would trip me up during the day. i didn't have as clear a focus as i wanted and i certainly didn't have any extra strength or energy. just as a person can't live an effective life being sleep deprived over the long term, i don't believe a christian can live an effective life without the Word of God and consistant prayer time with the Lord God Almighty.

tho the hard seasons the Lord has brought me thru have drawn me closer to Him and given me a greater desire to spend time with Him, i still struggle. and knowing the flesh and blood body i inhabit, i imagine i will probably always stuggle in this area. but that isn't a reason to give up and quit fighting. no the struggle shows me that this is worth fighting for. no matter how long i struggle to be consistant in this area, i will fight, i will press on, i will endure. just as i go to bed every night hopeful for a solid 8 hours, every day i will anticipate my time with the Lord. one gives me physical strength for the day, and the other .... oh how much more!