keeping alert

a couple years ago i went away for a few days to visit my mom for a long overdue visit. i wasn't convinced that leaving my son and my husband at home without me was a good idea, but michael assured me that he could handle the responsibilities. i called every evening to check in and see how things were going on their end. one evening when i called, i woke michael up from a nap. we chatted away, and then he told me he'd call back. it seemed that josiah wasn't where he thot he was. later i found out that while mike had fallen asleep, our son decided to go down to our basement to investigate what might be waiting for him there. our laundry room is there along with a room we keep our out of season items and in one of the rooms i have my paints, rubberstamps, stencils and fabric.

michael called out joe's name, but being non-verbal he didn't answer. so michael had to search each room of the house until he found josiah in the basement. josiah was quite content sitting on the floor of my craft storage room with a can of lavender colored paint open, the white cement floor now colored with splotches of purple. you could see where he must have tipped the can while he was trying to open the lid as it had dripped heavily on the legs of the wood table next to him. josiah had purple paint adorning his clothing, hands and shoes. mike tried hard to get joe up the stairs and into the bathroom without too much injury to the house, but along the way there are several purple handprints that commemorate his adventure.

i've often commented that caring for our son is an adventure where you need eyes in the back of your head and you have to be "on" 24/7. unless you want more suprises like the paint can fiasco michael found himself cleaning up.

needing to be alert reminded me of Jesus' time here on earth, when he was praying in the garden only to find his disciples asleep. he said to them, "So, you men could not keep watch with me for one hour? Keep watching and praying, that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." Matt26:40-41 and in Col 4:2 it says: "Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving."

my need to be alert while i care for my son is one i have accepted and grown accustomed to over the years. my need to be alert in prayer is one i am just beginning to understand. for me not only do i need to be alert when i am praying before the throne of grace, but throughout my day i need to be alert to hearing and seeing those needs around me that the Lord would have me bring before Him. its so easy to go thru my day and hear about those who are in distress or need a touch of grace and yet forget all about them when my prayer time is upon me.

"Lord, help me to be attentive and alert, devoted to prayer. thank you for the opportunities to come alongside your work and be a part of the kingdom process."

to sleep or not to sleep

our son, who has a genetic disability, has a problem getting to sleep and staying that way without the medications we give him. even with the meds there are nights where he wakes up and won't go back to sleep or takes a couple hours to get to sleep. this means one of his parents (usually me!) is up with him, as he can't be left alone unattended. this past month of december has seen more than its share of sleep disturbed nights.

so it was with great joy and anticipation that michael and i got away for a weekend without our son. michael usually wakes up early, but that next morning we both slept in. it was heaven! that night we stayed up late and again slept in longer than before. what a sweet gift.

i was pondering on the effects sleep and lack of sleep have on me. when i get a good nights sleep i'm renewed, energized, and ready to tackle whatever the day holds. when i am sleep deprived, no amount of coffee or sugar will energize me. i go thru the day in slow motion, yawning constantly. every action an effort that drains the few reserves i have.

i have noticed a similar reaction in my life when i don't have my time with the Lord. i made it a higher priority this past year to read the Word and have some structured prayer time in the mornings. when i did have that time with God, my days were focused, energized, and alert. i had a strength that did not come from within me. but on those days that i forgot, or skipped that time with the Lord were harder to get thru. little things would trip me up during the day. i didn't have as clear a focus as i wanted and i certainly didn't have any extra strength or energy. just as a person can't live an effective life being sleep deprived over the long term, i don't believe a christian can live an effective life without the Word of God and consistant prayer time with the Lord God Almighty.

tho the hard seasons the Lord has brought me thru have drawn me closer to Him and given me a greater desire to spend time with Him, i still struggle. and knowing the flesh and blood body i inhabit, i imagine i will probably always stuggle in this area. but that isn't a reason to give up and quit fighting. no the struggle shows me that this is worth fighting for. no matter how long i struggle to be consistant in this area, i will fight, i will press on, i will endure. just as i go to bed every night hopeful for a solid 8 hours, every day i will anticipate my time with the Lord. one gives me physical strength for the day, and the other .... oh how much more!