driving in the dark

last friday we drove up to boise for some appts and to see some friends. on our drive home we heard on the radio that the elk were once again near the freeway and to be on the alert. it seems that with all the snow we've had this winter the elk are coming closer to town to find grazing areas that aren't covered in snow.

it was just getting dark and as we drove along, michael pointed to the ridge where you could see the shadowy forms of several elk. what a sight! as we drove further and it grew darker, i felt myself tensing up. i knew from the news reports there was a danger that the elk would cross the freeway and an unsuspecting driver could meet with a pair of antlers. not wanting to be a casualty so far from home, i was diligent to scan the freeway as far as my headlights would allow. i was intent on seeing the elk before they became a problem.

after we passed thru the area that the elk had been spotted, i thot about how i need to be diligent to spot the dangers in the spiritual realm just as i was scanning to see the elk. often i drive thru the darkness of life unaware of the dangers just around the corner. instead, i ought to have an attitude of prayer. as 1 Peter 5:8 says: "be of sober spirit, be on the alert. your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." and 1 Peter 1:13 says: "therefore, gird your minds for action, keep sober in spirit ..."

the carwash --- revisited

a year ago sept i wrote about daisy's first car wash experience. you can read it here if you'd like. since that day she has been thru several car washes and just this past week once again, we headed to the car wash to wash all the road grit and dirt off from our big trip.

as we were slowly moving on the car wash tracks, i thot back to that first car wash daisy had experienced. how scared she was and how she needed comfort and love. flash forward and she is racing back and forth barking at the attendents who are scrubbing down the back windows. what a difference! no longer scared about the process she could be herself. she was at ease if slightly annoyed.

i wonder if the Lord allows the same types of things to enter my life in order to get me to a place where i can be at ease, knowing that He is taking care of the situaion. maybe i'm not barking at car wash attendents, but maybe i can be praying fervently for others needs, my own needs, the unreached world, or other things. i think its a part of spiritually growing up when we can move from the Father's lap and instead know that even tho this used to be a scary situation we've been thru it before and we can rest assured that God will bring us thru it yet again. and thus, i can concentrate on other things instead of shivering and shaking from fear.

what about you? has the Lord brought you thru something that no longer makes you quiver in fear but instead allows you to rest in His hands? i think the Lord is trying to teach me this lesson in a couple different areas of my life. and knowing that He is the one who will complete in me what He has begun, i look forward to the end of the lesson.

over the hills and thru the woods ....

on our drive home, we hit some rough weather in the blues of eastern oregon. as i was driving over the pass and dusk settled, an icy rain started to fall. the roads had patches of compact snow and ice. the further we went the more snow and ice covered the road. at first it was ok driving as a convoy of vehichles stayed in the right lane. but as the semi we were all following crept slower and slower over the pass, the antsy drivers behind us started to pass us, spraying wet ice and snow on our windshields as they whizzed past.

this is my least favorite kind of driving, right up there with driving in fog at night on a freeway. i always tell myself i'm never going to do this again,but invariably, being the only driver in our household, i find myself exactly in the situation i like least.

as i was driving and wishing i was anywhere but there, i was thinking that this was yet another opportunity to trust God. i think trusting God has become a theme in my life becuz i'm a bit of a control junkie. i like to be in control of my life. even if it is only the illusion of control i want to think that everything is ok. i find that the Lord has given me lots of opportunities to remind me that i an NOT in control. all i have to do is find myself on a snowy mtn pass with cars whizzing by me as i putz along to remind me that i NEED the Lord, and i HAVE to trust Him, cuz there ain't no other way.

as i watch others and myself deal with the hard stuff of life, i often wonder how those without Jesus do it. where is their foundation? how do they cope? for me, i NEED the Lord. i need to lean on Him when i have no understanding of the situation. i need to know that He is in control and sovereign. i need to find shelter under the shadow of His wing.

and the older i get, the more i see that we ALL go thru the hard times. whether its watching your parents get older and suffer the effects of cancer ravaging their bodies, or haivng health issues yourself. we dont' get to go thru life unscathed. there are fires, and floods, families coming unraveled and economic hardships. there are car accidents and random acts of violence that happen unexpectedly. but thru it all, i SEE my Lord! i hold HIS hand! i am carried by Him! He is with me.

the Lord got me down that mtn that night safe and sound. we made it thru the rough icy roads the next morning as well. and as i look at my life, i know that He is doing the same for michael and i. we will make it thru this hard part of life, He will bring us thru it all safe and sound.

one of my fav verses is in Isaiah. When you pass thru the waters, I will be with you; and thru the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk thru the fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you. For I am the Lord your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

i love how it say when, not if. the Lord knows what we as frail humans go thru. He is not unaware. and He gives His promise as to why we will get thru it all, becuz He is the Lord, our Savior. what a comfort, what a joy!

the verse before these touches me deeply as it says: Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!

so whatever you are going thru, have gone thru, or are yet to go thru, do not be afraid. cling to Jesus. remember your Savior is the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel. He is mighty to save! He will get you thru that river and bring you thru that fire unscorched. Praise be to the Lord God Almighty!!!

i'm dreaming of a ....

this is probably not going to be a typical seed story, but its on my heart to write. so lets begin.

many years ago, when mike and i were first starting off in life, a beloved friend, worship leader and later our pastor, recieved a word of knowledge for us. we were excited, scared, touched, and overwhelmed when he told us what he had heard from the Lord. in the beginning we told many people about the "word from the Lord" sure that God was going to something miraculous in our lives and soon. but as the years went by, nothing seemed to happen. we soon stopped talking about it and only occasionaly between the two of us would ask the other "do you think its ever going to happen?" "what do you think about it?" we very rarely even think about it, as it seems our lives have gone down a path that is far from the one we forsaw in the "word from the Lord".

last nite i had a dream. in my dream i was asking someone about "the word of the Lord". i wanted to know if it was truly from the Lord, and was going to come to pass. the person responded: why yes, it is from the Lord and it will come to pass. the Lord gave you a word 3 times and therefore it will come to pass.

after i woke up i thot about it. in my dream i hadn't quite got the details right, it wasn't given 3 times, but rather there were 3 parts to it. as i walked down the stairs to start my latte, i thot about how it feels like my life is the furthest possible spot from the implementaion of the "word" the Lord gave us so many years ago. i wondered if this is how joseph felt about the dream he had been given as a teenager, years later when he was in jail. did he see no way out of his situation? did he trust the Lord or did he feel that he was the farthest anyone could be from being a leader and commander that he had seen in his dream. i have a feeling that Joseph continued to trust.

i dont' know why it came to mind and i dreamt about it last nite. i dont' know if the dream was from the Lord, i like to think so. i don't know if it will soon be fulfilled or is still a ways off. but just like the rest of the story of joseph shows, i know the Lord hasn't forgotton me or is unaware of where i am at this time in my life. i love that He is the God who sees. He is in control, and He is sovereign. i find peace resting in palm of His hand, wherever that might be here on earth.

til next time, gail

the joshua project

a couple months ago on my challenges and adventures blog, i put up a little box from the joshua project that shows an unreached people group each day. a picture of a person within that group is the first thing you see. then you might notice the population count of the group, whether several thousand or over a million. the language they speak, and the main religion of the group is also revealed.

what an enlightening discovery this has been for me. each time i check on my blog i see another people group who has not had the gospel shared with them. as you might guess, most of the groups are in the middle east and asia. my heart breaks for these people as i see them trapped in deceptive religions of islam and others. i am amazed and saddened at the amount of people are still unreached. thousands, the size of the small town i live in, hundreds of thousands the size of a few counties, reaching up to a million and more, the size of a large metro area. add each of those numbers each day, week upon week, month upon month and we're talking real numbers here!

my heart yearns to reach these people in some way. it is a reminder to pray for these people each day, but i want to do more. maybe someday the Lord will place me in a position to do more, or maybe it is my place to continue to pray daily, fervently for these unreached people.

if you want to add this box to your blog or website there is a link in the box that will take you to the the joshua project website and show you how to add it to your spot.

my son turns 10

(i wrote this on my other blog, challenges and adventures last week. since i'm in a dry spell on this blog i will cheat and publish it here).

josiah turns 10 next week and i am thankful for having him in my life. he is sweet, fun and fun loving, he laughs alot and makes me laugh with him. he is mischieveous and has a sense of humor. he loves dogs, and other animals, baseball and bowling, music, movies and having books read to him. he loves snuggling under the covers in mom and dads bed and hugging us tight. he loves sleeping in and staying up late.

did i mention he is disabled? probably not, cuz that's not what i see anymore. when we first got his diagnoses, that was all i could see. what he would not be able to do, what a loss we as a family had sustained. but now, years later, i see the boy, the person, who he is, not who he is not. sure, it makes for an interesting relationship with someone who can't verbally talk to you, but joe does communicate in his own way. sometimes i know exactly what's he's saying, and sometimes i have no clue. but either way, we communicate.

i am also thankful for my son for all he has taught me. "little things" like unconditional love! not judging others by the outside cover, being ready to have fun no matter what i'm doing or how i feel. thru him, i have learned to trust my Lord more, have learned to be patient, to cry out to the Lord when i'm hurting, and a host of other things.

my life is richer becuz my son is in my life and i can't imagine life without him. yes,we're not your normal, average family but we are who we are, and it works for us. God has been good to us, and i am thankful to the Lord for bringing josiah into our lives almost 10 years ago.

the celebration

we celebrated my hubbies b-day last week. on the day of, i was getting our son ready for school, and hubby walked in the room. i started singing "happy b-day" to him. our son who is non-verbal, joined in with giggling, laughter and body shaking dancing. he knew something good was happening and he was excited at the prospect. once downstairs, i told joe to help me get daddy's gifts. i gave him a bag to hand to hubby which he did. again he was excited. it was dad's day, but joe was rejoicing in the festivities. as dad opened up his gifts, joe was thrilled with the process. tho the gifts weren't for him and he wasn't doing the unwrapping, he was excited about the occassion.

when someone else gets a promotion, a new car, a bonus ... do i get excited for them and rejoice? or do i hang my head just a bit wishing it were for me? unfortunately, i have been known more often than not to do the latter. i look at my son and have decided i want to be more like him. happy for the occasion, rejoicing with the other person for the gifts they are getting, excited to share in the day with them.

if i really trust in the Lord, that He is in control of my life and circumstances, then i can do this. i can rejoice with the other person, cuz i KNOW that God will give me the gifts that i need or that He wants to bless me with, in His timing. trusting in Him will eliminate the envy, the jealousy, the disappointment in my own circumstances.

so i'm aiming to keep my eyes fixed on Him. how bout you?

Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep Rom 12:15

if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it. 1 Cor 12:26

the lightening storm

sat night, as i was driving home from the boise airport i saw some bright lights in distant darkness. i didnt' think too much about them as i was anxious to make good time and get home to see my hubby and son after being away for 5 days. being late at night, the roads were fairly clear. as i continued east, i noticed that not only were the lights still showing up at times, but that they were getting brighter. i remembered that earlier in the week i had heard the weatherman say there was a chance of lightning.

as i got closer i noticed that each time the lightning occured, the sky would be lit up in a purple glow. i had seen photos of lightning but always assumed that the photographer had added something extra to the shot to get that purple. there was sheet lightning, stretching across the sky and then a bolt that would strike vertically on the horizon. being so far away, it was a majestic show just for me. i was in awe of the colors, the power, the light .... but then it got closer, or i should say i got closer to the storm. the rain started and the few cars around me and i slowed down. visibility was an issue as well as the lightning that now seemed to be right in front of our vehicles.

driving is not my favorite activity since mike's accident. and driving at night, in the rain, on the freeway is even less palatable. throw in a lightning storm and a panic attack could be in the forseeable future. but as i was debating whether to move to the side of the road and try to wait out the storm, the story of the disciples in the boat when the storm arose came to mind. even with Jesus sleeping in the boat, they were anxious for their very lives. i too, was feeling anxious. the power of the storm made me fear for my safety. but just as the Lord had been with the disciples in the boat, He was also with me in the car. as i reflected on the disciples plight and my own, the Lord brought peace to me as i drove my van thru the rain and lightning. soon i was able to look at the lightning and revel in the awesome power of the storm that God created and put on display for me to witness. i was reminded of what majestic power and might He wields.

as i continued on in my travels, i could no longer see the lightning ahead of me. instead the lightning flashed above my head and i saw the brillance thru my periferial vision. and then it was behind me. the rain softened and soon disappeared. the flashes of light just a distant vision in my rear view mirror.

Exodus 20:18 All the people perceived the thunder and the lightning flashes and the sound of the trumpet and the mountain smoking; and when the people saw it, they trembled and stood at a distance.

the watch

up til a couple years ago, i had one watch. i had had it for a very long time. it was perfect. it had an unconventional shape, what is called a franklin, it kind of looked like a shield laying on its side. i got lots of comments and compliments on it. it was silver and went with everything i wore. i wore it every day and even had the wristband replaced when it broke. i loved that watch, i never had to think about which watch to wear, and i knew it was just right for what i wanted, telling time.

then i lost it! i was heartsick. i called the store where i thot it might have been dropped, i looked around the parking lot where it might have fallen out of my pocket, you see it had broke and i was carrying it in my pocket until i could take it to the watch repairman.

i found another watch but it wasnt' the same. then i found a watch that had lots of different wristbands to change in and out, but it wasn't the same. i even started beading and made several new wristbands for my watch, but it wasn't the same.... it hasn't been the same since i lost my watch.

what does this have to do with anything? maybe nothing, but in my ponderings i have thot about my search for comfort when hard trials, difficult circumstances, or unpleasent situations occur. its like i'm looking for that perfect watch, that one that will fulfill every need, bring comfort, and be the best fit for the occassion. having had my perfect watch i know what to look for, and in my spiritual life having Jesus i know what to look for. so WHY do i seek other things instead of Jesus when the real thing is the best thing for me? i don't know ....

it's like i'm window shopping and along the street there are vendors everywhere with loads of goodies. one vendor has creamy donuts and soft baked chocolate chip cookies straight from the oven. mmm! yummy. but not what is needed when i'm searching for a watch. the next vendor over has books, lots and lots of books to read. i get stuck there reading and leafing thru the interesting texts. but a book is not a watch and is not what i need. another vendor has the latest dvd, another the latest jewelry and jeans. but none are what i want or need!

and so it is when seeking Jesus. He's not right out there in one of the vendors carts. He is tucked away, and i must seek Him, look for Him, pursue Him. it may take awhile, but the pursuit is worth it. and when i find Him, He is all i need.

there are many psalms that speak of waiting on the Lord. one of my favs is ps 33:20 "our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help and our shield."

won't you wait for the Lord with me? He's worth the wait!

a quote i just found

years ago michael and i read a biography of george mueller and were deeply impacted by this godly man and his life. i was reading another blog and found this quote by him. i just had to share it.

“I saw more clearly than ever, that the first great and primary business to which I ought to attend every day was, to have my soul happy in the Lord. The first thing to be concerned about was not, how much I might serve the Lord, how I might glorify the Lord; but how I might get my soul into a happy state, and how my inner man may be nourished . . . I saw that the most important thing I had to do was to give myself to the reading of the Word of God and to meditation on it.” --George Mueller

George Mueller, A Narrative of Some of the Lord's Dealing with George Mueller, Written by Himself, Jehovah Magnified. Addresses by George Mueller Complete and Unabridged, 2 Vols. (Muskegon, Mich.: Dust and Ashes, 2003), 1:271-1:272.


looks like i need to find this book and read more from one of my favorite godly saints.

have a great labor day weekend! gail