seed stories

memory monday update

2009-01-27T08:33:00.002-07:00

well, as you can see from the lack of posts since jan 12th, i haven't quite got the swing of things down yet with this memorization thing. but that's not to say that i'm giving up. oh no! i'm still working on my verse. i'm older now and you know what they say about old brains. no? me neither. i think i forgot!!!

how bout you? are you memorizing any scripture these days? i'll be back someday with memory verse in hand and in my memory. until then, have a blessed day!

Memory Monday

2009-01-12T20:22:00.003-07:00

over the holidays i was thinking alot about what i wanted to incorporate into my life this year. the idea of memorizing scripture came to me repeatedly, but i wasn't sure how to go about it. until today, when i saw that joanne over at the simple wife has started a memory monday. each person picks the scripture they want to memorize and then we all head over to joanne's on monday and recite (write down) our memory verses. great, huh? and i don't have to reinvent the wheel.

so for this coming week, i'm going to memorize 1 Peter 5:10. so check back here next week and see how i did. and join me in memorizing the Word, i'd love to have the company.

WFW Ps 39 7

2008-11-19T07:11:00.001-07:00

i love working with graphics and pics on my computer and i love the Word of God. Word Filled Wednesday combines both, so i'm in heaven!

ps 39:7 And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in you.

i love the psalms and verses that talk about hope and putting my hope in the Lord. He is the only one that we can put our hope in that can fulfill that hope we have. no other person, thing, bank acct,credit card can grant us what we hope for. only Him.

our world has been shaken of late, our financial world was on sand when we thot it had been built on a solid rock. lots of people are wondering where they can put their hope, their trust now. they have lost money, or even jobs. the future is uncertain. but God says, put your hope in Me. I will not disappoint. I am the sure thing.

what about you? where is your hope today? in your 401K? in your job? marriage? kids? me, i'm putting my hope in Him. He's my only Hope, He's the One.

if you want to see more word filled wednesday photos and bible verses, hop on over to 160 acre woods.

Do Not Fear .... Isaiah 41

2008-10-21T12:06:00.005-06:00

Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you surely I will help you. Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

i love this verse cuz its so reassuring. its so powerful. it makes me feel secure and protected. i dont' have to fear, in fact i'm commanded not to fear. God is here with me, protecting me, helping me, strengthening me. and i can count on Him.

i need to remember this each day. it always seems like there is something going on that causes anxiety or fear in my life. but God has told me that He is my God. and He's holding me up with His hand. i'm in the palm of His hand. safe, secure.

if you are looking for more encouragement from the Word head on over to 160 acre woods, you'll be blessed.

Ps 32:8

2008-09-24T09:44:00.002-06:00

i posted this over at challenges and adventures today, but i thot my readers here would enjoy it also.

I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go; I will guide thee with mine eye. Ps 32:8

i love this verse and how it gives us hope. hope that the Lord is guiding us, seeing whats up ahead, keeping us from stumbling around in the dark. when we get to know who the Lord is: light, faithfulness, sovereign, omniscent, omnipresent, omnipotent we have a new understanding of how much hope we have in Him. i have felt His guidence in my life and i'm in awe of His faithfulness to me.

this is my first WFW post so i'd love to have you leave a comment. if you want to join in the fun head on over to 160 acre woods. and have a blessed day!

The Rock

2008-08-15T22:20:00.002-06:00

today we were up at our new favorite spot on the river north of boise. it is a wonderful, quiet spot with a sandy beach on a calm part of the river. perfect for josiah to play in the water and the sand. perfect for michael and i to be close by but relaxing on our lawn chairs ... chatting, reading or dreaming.

to get back to the picnic area josiah and i walked tentatively on the trail as it was steep and littered with boulders every foot or so. as i took josiah's hand to help him along we switched places. now with josiah in the front going up a steep mound, i pushed him along. josiah's balance isn't the best nor is his footing. he gets scared easily on uneven ground.

as i was giving josiah help from behind, josiah lost his footing and started falling back onto me. his weight pushing against me, made me lose my balance and i started to fall back as well. as i grabbed josiah, hoping to right myself up again, my backside and legs met up with a very large boulder and i sat right down. i was able to help josiah regain his balance and i popped up again and we made our way back to the picnic table.

when we first found out about josiah's special needs, i lost my footing. i had no clue how to raise a child with needs. i had studied homeschooling, parenting books, and preschool lessons. i thot i knew what i needed in order to parent. after all, i had been preparing for a long time. but nothing prepared me for a non-verbal, hyperactive, needy child. i found myself falling and it was only when i realized that i had fallen against the Rock, the rock that is the Lord, that i was able to regain my bearings and move forward.

i often fall, don't we all? but i can either struggle and try to get up in my own strength or i can see that i have fallen against the Rock and allow Him to be my strength, my foundation, my comfort. i am so glad that He is there for me. and that His strength, His rock solid dependability is what i stand on, rely on, rest upon. i don't have to go thru this life alone, doing everything in my own strength. i have Him, the Lord, my Rock and Salvation.

moth and rust destroy

2008-05-28T13:21:00.003-06:00

matt 6:19 "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal."

if my treasure was in my van, i'd be in a sorry state right now. last week, a car turned in front of me and my right bumper collided with her right side. thankfully no one was critically injured and thankfully i had the right of way. (so it wasn't my fault!)

this week we found out our insurance company was going to call the van totalled. moth and rust may not have destroyed it, but it was pretty well destroyed anyway. if i put my hope and trust in the things of this world, eventually they will all go the way of my van. they are temporary, corruptible, eventually turning to dust. and this world, along with all the stuff of it, will pass away.

i like the next verse, matt 6:20 "but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal."(emphasis mine) here the Lord doesn't just tell us what not to do, but He gives us direction on what to do. i always appreciate knowing what i should do and what is expected of me. and the reward is if we do this, is that these treasures will not be destroyed. for they are kept safe in heaven, the place of the eternal.

what a wonderful promise. so next time you are thinking of your treasures, i hope they are all stored in heaven and not here on earth.

driving in the dark

2008-02-12T09:12:00.000-07:00

last friday we drove up to boise for some appts and to see some friends. on our drive home we heard on the radio that the elk were once again near the freeway and to be on the alert. it seems that with all the snow we've had this winter the elk are coming closer to town to find grazing areas that aren't covered in snow.

it was just getting dark and as we drove along, michael pointed to the ridge where you could see the shadowy forms of several elk. what a sight! as we drove further and it grew darker, i felt myself tensing up. i knew from the news reports there was a danger that the elk would cross the freeway and an unsuspecting driver could meet with a pair of antlers. not wanting to be a casualty so far from home, i was diligent to scan the freeway as far as my headlights would allow. i was intent on seeing the elk before they became a problem.

after we passed thru the area that the elk had been spotted, i thot about how i need to be diligent to spot the dangers in the spiritual realm just as i was scanning to see the elk. often i drive thru the darkness of life unaware of the dangers just around the corner. instead, i ought to have an attitude of prayer. as 1 Peter 5:8 says: "be of sober spirit, be on the alert. your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." and 1 Peter 1:13 says: "therefore, gird your minds for action, keep sober in spirit ..."

the carwash --- revisited

2008-01-07T13:11:00.001-07:00

a year ago sept i wrote about daisy's first car wash experience. you can read it here if you'd like. since that day she has been thru several car washes and just this past week once again, we headed to the car wash to wash all the road grit and dirt off from our big trip.

as we were slowly moving on the car wash tracks, i thot back to that first car wash daisy had experienced. how scared she was and how she needed comfort and love. flash forward and she is racing back and forth barking at the attendents who are scrubbing down the back windows. what a difference! no longer scared about the process she could be herself. she was at ease if slightly annoyed.

i wonder if the Lord allows the same types of things to enter my life in order to get me to a place where i can be at ease, knowing that He is taking care of the situaion. maybe i'm not barking at car wash attendents, but maybe i can be praying fervently for others needs, my own needs, the unreached world, or other things. i think its a part of spiritually growing up when we can move from the Father's lap and instead know that even tho this used to be a scary situation we've been thru it before and we can rest assured that God will bring us thru it yet again. and thus, i can concentrate on other things instead of shivering and shaking from fear.

what about you? has the Lord brought you thru something that no longer makes you quiver in fear but instead allows you to rest in His hands? i think the Lord is trying to teach me this lesson in a couple different areas of my life. and knowing that He is the one who will complete in me what He has begun, i look forward to the end of the lesson.

over the hills and thru the woods ....

2008-01-02T07:52:00.000-07:00

on our drive home, we hit some rough weather in the blues of eastern oregon. as i was driving over the pass and dusk settled, an icy rain started to fall. the roads had patches of compact snow and ice. the further we went the more snow and ice covered the road. at first it was ok driving as a convoy of vehichles stayed in the right lane. but as the semi we were all following crept slower and slower over the pass, the antsy drivers behind us started to pass us, spraying wet ice and snow on our windshields as they whizzed past.

this is my least favorite kind of driving, right up there with driving in fog at night on a freeway. i always tell myself i'm never going to do this again,but invariably, being the only driver in our household, i find myself exactly in the situation i like least.

as i was driving and wishing i was anywhere but there, i was thinking that this was yet another opportunity to trust God. i think trusting God has become a theme in my life becuz i'm a bit of a control junkie. i like to be in control of my life. even if it is only the illusion of control i want to think that everything is ok. i find that the Lord has given me lots of opportunities to remind me that i an NOT in control. all i have to do is find myself on a snowy mtn pass with cars whizzing by me as i putz along to remind me that i NEED the Lord, and i HAVE to trust Him, cuz there ain't no other way.

as i watch others and myself deal with the hard stuff of life, i often wonder how those without Jesus do it. where is their foundation? how do they cope? for me, i NEED the Lord. i need to lean on Him when i have no understanding of the situation. i need to know that He is in control and sovereign. i need to find shelter under the shadow of His wing.

and the older i get, the more i see that we ALL go thru the hard times. whether its watching your parents get older and suffer the effects of cancer ravaging their bodies, or haivng health issues yourself. we dont' get to go thru life unscathed. there are fires, and floods, families coming unraveled and economic hardships. there are car accidents and random acts of violence that happen unexpectedly. but thru it all, i SEE my Lord! i hold HIS hand! i am carried by Him! He is with me.

the Lord got me down that mtn that night safe and sound. we made it thru the rough icy roads the next morning as well. and as i look at my life, i know that He is doing the same for michael and i. we will make it thru this hard part of life, He will bring us thru it all safe and sound.

one of my fav verses is in Isaiah. When you pass thru the waters, I will be with you; and thru the rivers, they will not overflow you. When you walk thru the fire, you will not be scorched, nor will the flame burn you. For I am the Lord your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

i love how it say when, not if. the Lord knows what we as frail humans go thru. He is not unaware. and He gives His promise as to why we will get thru it all, becuz He is the Lord, our Savior. what a comfort, what a joy!

the verse before these touches me deeply as it says: Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are Mine!

so whatever you are going thru, have gone thru, or are yet to go thru, do not be afraid. cling to Jesus. remember your Savior is the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel. He is mighty to save! He will get you thru that river and bring you thru that fire unscorched. Praise be to the Lord God Almighty!!!

i'm dreaming of a ....

2007-12-11T13:11:00.000-07:00

this is probably not going to be a typical seed story, but its on my heart to write. so lets begin.

many years ago, when mike and i were first starting off in life, a beloved friend, worship leader and later our pastor, recieved a word of knowledge for us. we were excited, scared, touched, and overwhelmed when he told us what he had heard from the Lord. in the beginning we told many people about the "word from the Lord" sure that God was going to something miraculous in our lives and soon. but as the years went by, nothing seemed to happen. we soon stopped talking about it and only occasionaly between the two of us would ask the other "do you think its ever going to happen?" "what do you think about it?" we very rarely even think about it, as it seems our lives have gone down a path that is far from the one we forsaw in the "word from the Lord".

last nite i had a dream. in my dream i was asking someone about "the word of the Lord". i wanted to know if it was truly from the Lord, and was going to come to pass. the person responded: why yes, it is from the Lord and it will come to pass. the Lord gave you a word 3 times and therefore it will come to pass.

after i woke up i thot about it. in my dream i hadn't quite got the details right, it wasn't given 3 times, but rather there were 3 parts to it. as i walked down the stairs to start my latte, i thot about how it feels like my life is the furthest possible spot from the implementaion of the "word" the Lord gave us so many years ago. i wondered if this is how joseph felt about the dream he had been given as a teenager, years later when he was in jail. did he see no way out of his situation? did he trust the Lord or did he feel that he was the farthest anyone could be from being a leader and commander that he had seen in his dream. i have a feeling that Joseph continued to trust.

i dont' know why it came to mind and i dreamt about it last nite. i dont' know if the dream was from the Lord, i like to think so. i don't know if it will soon be fulfilled or is still a ways off. but just like the rest of the story of joseph shows, i know the Lord hasn't forgotton me or is unaware of where i am at this time in my life. i love that He is the God who sees. He is in control, and He is sovereign. i find peace resting in palm of His hand, wherever that might be here on earth.

til next time, gail

the joshua project

2007-12-02T14:48:00.000-07:00

a couple months ago on my challenges and adventures blog, i put up a little box from the joshua project that shows an unreached people group each day. a picture of a person within that group is the first thing you see. then you might notice the population count of the group, whether several thousand or over a million. the language they speak, and the main religion of the group is also revealed.

what an enlightening discovery this has been for me. each time i check on my blog i see another people group who has not had the gospel shared with them. as you might guess, most of the groups are in the middle east and asia. my heart breaks for these people as i see them trapped in deceptive religions of islam and others. i am amazed and saddened at the amount of people are still unreached. thousands, the size of the small town i live in, hundreds of thousands the size of a few counties, reaching up to a million and more, the size of a large metro area. add each of those numbers each day, week upon week, month upon month and we're talking real numbers here!

my heart yearns to reach these people in some way. it is a reminder to pray for these people each day, but i want to do more. maybe someday the Lord will place me in a position to do more, or maybe it is my place to continue to pray daily, fervently for these unreached people.

if you want to add this box to your blog or website there is a link in the box that will take you to the the joshua project website and show you how to add it to your spot.

my son turns 10

2007-11-25T21:24:00.000-07:00

(i wrote this on my other blog, challenges and adventures last week. since i'm in a dry spell on this blog i will cheat and publish it here).

josiah turns 10 next week and i am thankful for having him in my life. he is sweet, fun and fun loving, he laughs alot and makes me laugh with him. he is mischieveous and has a sense of humor. he loves dogs, and other animals, baseball and bowling, music, movies and having books read to him. he loves snuggling under the covers in mom and dads bed and hugging us tight. he loves sleeping in and staying up late.

did i mention he is disabled? probably not, cuz that's not what i see anymore. when we first got his diagnoses, that was all i could see. what he would not be able to do, what a loss we as a family had sustained. but now, years later, i see the boy, the person, who he is, not who he is not. sure, it makes for an interesting relationship with someone who can't verbally talk to you, but joe does communicate in his own way. sometimes i know exactly what's he's saying, and sometimes i have no clue. but either way, we communicate.

i am also thankful for my son for all he has taught me. "little things" like unconditional love! not judging others by the outside cover, being ready to have fun no matter what i'm doing or how i feel. thru him, i have learned to trust my Lord more, have learned to be patient, to cry out to the Lord when i'm hurting, and a host of other things.

my life is richer becuz my son is in my life and i can't imagine life without him. yes,we're not your normal, average family but we are who we are, and it works for us. God has been good to us, and i am thankful to the Lord for bringing josiah into our lives almost 10 years ago.

the celebration

2007-10-24T08:03:00.000-06:00

we celebrated my hubbies b-day last week. on the day of, i was getting our son ready for school, and hubby walked in the room. i started singing "happy b-day" to him. our son who is non-verbal, joined in with giggling, laughter and body shaking dancing. he knew something good was happening and he was excited at the prospect. once downstairs, i told joe to help me get daddy's gifts. i gave him a bag to hand to hubby which he did. again he was excited. it was dad's day, but joe was rejoicing in the festivities. as dad opened up his gifts, joe was thrilled with the process. tho the gifts weren't for him and he wasn't doing the unwrapping, he was excited about the occassion.

when someone else gets a promotion, a new car, a bonus ... do i get excited for them and rejoice? or do i hang my head just a bit wishing it were for me? unfortunately, i have been known more often than not to do the latter. i look at my son and have decided i want to be more like him. happy for the occasion, rejoicing with the other person for the gifts they are getting, excited to share in the day with them.

if i really trust in the Lord, that He is in control of my life and circumstances, then i can do this. i can rejoice with the other person, cuz i KNOW that God will give me the gifts that i need or that He wants to bless me with, in His timing. trusting in Him will eliminate the envy, the jealousy, the disappointment in my own circumstances.

so i'm aiming to keep my eyes fixed on Him. how bout you?

Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep Rom 12:15

if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it. 1 Cor 12:26

the lightening storm

2007-09-25T11:46:00.000-06:00

sat night, as i was driving home from the boise airport i saw some bright lights in distant darkness. i didnt' think too much about them as i was anxious to make good time and get home to see my hubby and son after being away for 5 days. being late at night, the roads were fairly clear. as i continued east, i noticed that not only were the lights still showing up at times, but that they were getting brighter. i remembered that earlier in the week i had heard the weatherman say there was a chance of lightning.

as i got closer i noticed that each time the lightning occured, the sky would be lit up in a purple glow. i had seen photos of lightning but always assumed that the photographer had added something extra to the shot to get that purple. there was sheet lightning, stretching across the sky and then a bolt that would strike vertically on the horizon. being so far away, it was a majestic show just for me. i was in awe of the colors, the power, the light .... but then it got closer, or i should say i got closer to the storm. the rain started and the few cars around me and i slowed down. visibility was an issue as well as the lightning that now seemed to be right in front of our vehicles.

driving is not my favorite activity since mike's accident. and driving at night, in the rain, on the freeway is even less palatable. throw in a lightning storm and a panic attack could be in the forseeable future. but as i was debating whether to move to the side of the road and try to wait out the storm, the story of the disciples in the boat when the storm arose came to mind. even with Jesus sleeping in the boat, they were anxious for their very lives. i too, was feeling anxious. the power of the storm made me fear for my safety. but just as the Lord had been with the disciples in the boat, He was also with me in the car. as i reflected on the disciples plight and my own, the Lord brought peace to me as i drove my van thru the rain and lightning. soon i was able to look at the lightning and revel in the awesome power of the storm that God created and put on display for me to witness. i was reminded of what majestic power and might He wields.

as i continued on in my travels, i could no longer see the lightning ahead of me. instead the lightning flashed above my head and i saw the brillance thru my periferial vision. and then it was behind me. the rain softened and soon disappeared. the flashes of light just a distant vision in my rear view mirror.

Exodus 20:18 All the people perceived the thunder and the lightning flashes and the sound of the trumpet and the mountain smoking; and when the people saw it, they trembled and stood at a distance.

the watch

2007-09-06T16:54:00.000-06:00

up til a couple years ago, i had one watch. i had had it for a very long time. it was perfect. it had an unconventional shape, what is called a franklin, it kind of looked like a shield laying on its side. i got lots of comments and compliments on it. it was silver and went with everything i wore. i wore it every day and even had the wristband replaced when it broke. i loved that watch, i never had to think about which watch to wear, and i knew it was just right for what i wanted, telling time.

then i lost it! i was heartsick. i called the store where i thot it might have been dropped, i looked around the parking lot where it might have fallen out of my pocket, you see it had broke and i was carrying it in my pocket until i could take it to the watch repairman.

i found another watch but it wasnt' the same. then i found a watch that had lots of different wristbands to change in and out, but it wasn't the same. i even started beading and made several new wristbands for my watch, but it wasn't the same.... it hasn't been the same since i lost my watch.

what does this have to do with anything? maybe nothing, but in my ponderings i have thot about my search for comfort when hard trials, difficult circumstances, or unpleasent situations occur. its like i'm looking for that perfect watch, that one that will fulfill every need, bring comfort, and be the best fit for the occassion. having had my perfect watch i know what to look for, and in my spiritual life having Jesus i know what to look for. so WHY do i seek other things instead of Jesus when the real thing is the best thing for me? i don't know ....

it's like i'm window shopping and along the street there are vendors everywhere with loads of goodies. one vendor has creamy donuts and soft baked chocolate chip cookies straight from the oven. mmm! yummy. but not what is needed when i'm searching for a watch. the next vendor over has books, lots and lots of books to read. i get stuck there reading and leafing thru the interesting texts. but a book is not a watch and is not what i need. another vendor has the latest dvd, another the latest jewelry and jeans. but none are what i want or need!

and so it is when seeking Jesus. He's not right out there in one of the vendors carts. He is tucked away, and i must seek Him, look for Him, pursue Him. it may take awhile, but the pursuit is worth it. and when i find Him, He is all i need.

there are many psalms that speak of waiting on the Lord. one of my favs is ps 33:20 "our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help and our shield."

won't you wait for the Lord with me? He's worth the wait!

a quote i just found

2007-09-01T16:44:00.000-06:00

years ago michael and i read a biography of george mueller and were deeply impacted by this godly man and his life. i was reading another blog and found this quote by him. i just had to share it.

“I saw more clearly than ever, that the first great and primary business to which I ought to attend every day was, to have my soul happy in the Lord. The first thing to be concerned about was not, how much I might serve the Lord, how I might glorify the Lord; but how I might get my soul into a happy state, and how my inner man may be nourished . . . I saw that the most important thing I had to do was to give myself to the reading of the Word of God and to meditation on it.” --George Mueller

George Mueller, A Narrative of Some of the Lord's Dealing with George Mueller, Written by Himself, Jehovah Magnified. Addresses by George Mueller Complete and Unabridged, 2 Vols. (Muskegon, Mich.: Dust and Ashes, 2003), 1:271-1:272.

looks like i need to find this book and read more from one of my favorite godly saints.

have a great labor day weekend! gail

waking up is hard to do

2007-08-27T10:44:00.000-06:00

today was joe's first day of school. we have had the luxury of sleeping in all summer, but today marked the first day, not just of school, but of getting up at 7am to be ready for his yellow school bus. i got up at ten til the hour and got myself dressed. i turned on my radio loud enough that i knew joe would be able to hear it in his room down the hall. then i went into his room and turned on his light. i got his clothes together that he would later put on and laid them on his bed. joe was still huddled, eyes closed, and ignoring mom as best he could. when i spoke, he just gestured to the light. that is his sign for "turn it off" so i told him he could sleep in a little while longer and turned off the light. then he gestured to the bed beside him. usually that means sit by me, but somehow i didn't think so. i asked him if he wanted his blanket, which had been kicked off sometime during the night. he nodded yes, so i covered him up. before i left his room he had his eyes closed and his breathing deepened into that slumberland sound.

i chuckled to myself at his behavior as i went down the stairs to greet michael who was also getting ready for his first day of school. i pondered on how little joe can communicate and yet, i try to make up for his lack by anticipating his needs and reading between the lines of his signs, gestures and vocalizations.

and vocalizing he has been! this summer joe stumped us many times trying to tell us something, using grunts, squeals, signs and gestures. sadly, often i had to tell him "joe, i dont' know what you're trying to say."

the Lord brought to mind his scripture from Romans that says: "In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God." Rom 8:26-27

i am so glad that when i don't know how to pray, how to talk to the Lord, how to express in words my feelings and thoughts, that the Lord steps in and intercedes on my behalf. like joe, i struggle to get the words out, to communicate, but God is there. He knows what i'm trying to say, He knows my innermost thoughts and He is interceding on my behalf! wow--what a great God we serve!

i'm struggling right now how to pray for my mom while she battles this cancer. at times, emotions overwhelm me and the words won't come, but i am confident in God's provision and His tender care. i love the fact that not only is He interceding on my behalf as one of the saints, but that His prayers are in accordance with the will of God! He knows how to pray for my mom and myself even when all can do is point and gesture, just like Joe.

the Father's Arms

2007-08-14T10:50:00.000-06:00

our daisy is a bit of a scaredy cat. a couple weeks ago she heard something in the middle of the night and barked her head off. she sleeps downstairs by herself, so when she gets scared she doesn't have anyone to run to.

last nite, i heard a big ol truck making a racket driving down the road. it might have been a fire engine .... anyway, daisy heard it too. but instead of barking, she found a slight opening in the door to our room and tiptoed in. she came to my side of the bed and gently put her paws up on the bed. i could tell she was asking if she could come up. so what's a mom to do when one of her family is wanting to be comforted? i let her come up. she immediately sought out my arms and cuddled as close as she could. i wrapped my arm around her and she settled down and went to sleep.

as i was laying in bed, pondering daisy's actions, it occured to me that dont' we do the same when we are faced with a scary situation. we look for comfort and warm arms to hold us. i found out last week that my mom had a suspicious looking mammogram. they have scheduled a biopsy for later this week. we talked for a bit and she assured me that she is trusting the Lord whatever the outcome. she has sought out the comfort of the Father's arms.

i marvel at my mom's peace in the face of another health scare. and yet, i know that it isn't of her own strength, but the Lord working in and thru her. she has followed Him all her life and knows Him as her Father. she is a reminder and a role model for me when troubles come into my own life. i can run to the things of the world for comfort, or i can run to the Father's arms. they are always open to recieve his children. like daisy, i can sleep peacefully while hidden in the arms of my Father.

Psalms 91 Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him. For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease. He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

Postscript: August 27th

the results of my mom's biopsy showed 2 cancerous tumors. so now she and the ones who love her get to lean into the Father's arms even more. while we know her ultimate destination is assured, its not always fun to go thru the journey. i am praying for many more healthy years with her, but we are not assured even one more day on this planet.

i thank you for your prayers in advance for my mom and for our family as we walk thru this with her.

reminded again how much i need to rest in the Father's arms, gail

the potted plant

2007-08-08T14:50:00.000-06:00

i don't know much about potted plants. i don't have a green thumb when it comes to things growing in pots, but i do know that you don't want to have a plant become root bound in a pot. plants need room for their roots and every once in awhile they need to be repotted into a larger pot.

for the last few years here in twin i have felt like a potted plant. i've felt hindered, i've felt like my roots have nowhere to grow. i want to be rooted in the soil of an outdoor garden where the air is fresh, the sunshine on my face and room to breathe. i feel that the master gardener needs to plant me somewhere else. so what does a pot do when the master gardener says its not time yet?

this has been a time of learning to wait on the Lord, and wait on His timing. mike will be transfering to BSU at some point, but even that timeline has changed, and isn't set in concrete. i must learn to wait. to trust. to rely on the Lord and know that in His wisdom, He knows when the plant needs to be repotted. its not the plant that gets to decide, its the gardener.

for my part, i need to continue to grow. that is my job while i'm here in this pot. to grow, to give off fruit, to provide shade .... and whatever else the Lord would have for me to do while i'm in this pot.

"Blessed are those who trust in the Lord and who have made the Lord their hope and confidence." Jer 17:7

border collies

2007-07-10T21:44:00.000-06:00

i once watched a pbs program about border collies on a sheep ranch in new zealand. i was amazed at these dogs and how they could round up a herd of sheep, just by being behing the herd and running back and forth, steering the sheep where they wanted them to go. once the sheep were in the docket where the dogs had wanted them to go to, i saw one of the dogs running on the backs of the sheep! wow!

lately i've been feeling like the Lord has unleashed his angelic border collies on me. i feel like i'm being herded from behind to go where the Lord wants me to go.

off and on over the last year, mike and i have discussed using less of the personal care services the state of idaho provides for us to help with josiah. we have been feeling that as josiah has been getting older he has needed help from the state less, and we could do more and we would like to do more with him. he's still a 24/7 kind of kid where you need eyes in the back of your eyes. whenever mike and i talk, we always say we're going to reduce the aid's hours, but then when the time comes we never do. the last time we chatted about this was just a couple weeks ago. but this time it was like the Lord decided to let out the border collies. within a week we got a call from the nurse who oversees the care and said that they had run into a problem. seems that the aid who had been working with joe didn't have all the credentials needed for the job. i told mike that i wouldn't be suprised if the agency dropped joe altogether becuz of the red tape and headaches that medicaid tends to make in these situations. 2 days later we got a call from the head medicaid nurse and after some arm twisitng from her i told her that we would be fine going without personal care services for joe.

i knew that this was from the Lord, that this was the direction that He was taking us, but nonetheless, it was a very scary idea. i remember the days of sleep deprivation and being ready to tear my hair out chasing after his incessent,impulsive, non-stop curiousity and motion.

its only been a few days, and yes there have been some rough spots, but all in all, i'm learning to trust that the Lord is in control and does know what is best for our family. even when i don't think i can handle something, He pushes me along, nipping at my heels as needed to get me to keep moving forward. i love the fact that with border collies they are working hand in hand with their masters, who are using whistles to guide them. i'm not sure how that fits in with this seed story, but i see the Lord, my Master, as being the one who guides the circumstances, people, and situations to move me along to where He wants me to be! i guess that makes me a dumb sheep after all!!!

the campfire

2007-07-10T21:15:00.000-06:00

why is fire so interesting to watch?

last week we went on a short camping trip. the first night there, we lit a fire. both michael and i enjoy watching a campfire, as many do. its mesmerizing. its hypnotic. its calming. the fire is never predictible, but its consistent. as long as there is fuel to burn, it will burn on.

josiah also loves fires. his idea of fun is to find a piece of grass or a piece of paper and toss it in and watch the fire burn it up immediately. if paper, grass or twigs are unavaiable, he has been known to throw dirt or rocks into the fire, just to see if they will burn.

there are many ways fire can be related to our christian walk, more than i could possibly write about here. the thot that came to me as i was staring into the campfire that night was what kind of fuel am i burning as a follower of the Lord? the quick, small bursts of flames that were produced by what joe would throw in or the long-lasting logs that kept the fire burning for hours? one gives a quick burst of flame, but is quickly gone, the other may take longer to catch on fire but once it does it burns long, and hot.

unfortunately, i feel that alot of times in my christian walk i burn hot and fast, and peeter out soon after. whether its a discipline of daily reading my Bible, or being patient with my son. instead i want to be the long burning fire, the consistent, reliable, warmning fire that makes others want to stop and stare for awhile at the flames.

The Lawnmower, Part 2

2007-06-04T12:14:00.000-06:00

Last summer Josiah pushed around an old, broken lawn mower. he loved getting out there every afternoon or evening and pushing it around. and he was disappointed on the days when he couldn't do his lawnmowing.

this year, when we found out the family that has mowed our lawn had a conflict in their schedules and wouldn't be able to do the mowing, we decided that Josiah was ready to be promoted to head lawnmower man. we went to the local big box store and looked at the different options. a power mower was a scary thought. but then we spied an old-fashioned push mower. and the price was right--sweet!

we brought it home and Josiah was in heaven! he pushed, and pushed! he loved being out there cutting the grass and doing his job. every evening after dinner he begged to go out and mow. what a joy to watch!

seeing Josiah's diligence with this small task made me think of Jesus' admonition to be faithful in the small things. as we watched all last summer, Josiah's diligence in his pretend job of mowing, we knew that he was showing us that soon he would be capable of doing more. i wonder if the Lord also watches us, watching to see how we're doing with the job, pretend or otherwise, that he's given us to do. watching to see if we are ready for the next step, a promotion to another bigger job.

michael is already dreaming of launching joe's lawnmowing service when he is older, but for that we will have to see if he will continue to be faithful with this. maybe someday you'll see a smiling, happy Angelman boy being faithful in his lawnmowing duties, mowing the lawns for others unto the Lord.

beagle vs jack russell

2007-04-24T19:31:00.000-06:00

our jack russell terrier, daisy, isn't a purebred. she's a bit taller than most jacks, and her ears are a tad rounder and longer, her coloring on her face reminds us alot of the beagle that we had. when talking to the vet and then the pound lady, both thot she might have a touch of beagle in her. yikes!!! not beagle!

if you've read any of my seedstories you know that tho beagles can be outwardly cute, inwardly they can be unattractive to the core. our beagle was not our fav dog. her strong will and disobedient nature eventually led to us finding a new home for her. we often remarked that sophie was like a picture of "the flesh" that wars against our new nature as christians. she fell into every temptation that came her way.

on the other hand, daisy has wanted to be part of the family since she came to live with us. she wants to please us and is always watching for cues as to what we want. but every once in awhile, she is tempted to go astray. the other night she found an intriguing toy of joe's on the floor. she was starting to chew it when we noticed and told her to give it up. she dropped it and started to back off. we were delayed in picking it up due to too many things going on at the same time. daisy saw an opportunity and came back to grab the ball and scoot around to the back side of the sofa. michael noticed her action and sternly told her to stop! don't even think about it! she immediately dropped the ball. we saw a glimmer of the disobedient beagle in her, but her jack russell nature came to the forefront.

i think it is often the same with us. we want to please the Lord, we want to be obedient, but sometimes our flesh rises its ugly head. but God calls us back to obedience. there are times when i am tempted, and times when i even fall into the temptation, but then the Lord pulls me back, i'm reminded of my desire to be a part of God's family, to please Him in everything i do, and to be with Him. tho i dont' like my "beagle" nature, i'm glad the Lord has transformed me into a new creature in Christ and someday that "beagle" nature will be totally gone. i look forward to the day when i stand before Him. my hope is to hear His words of commendation: "well done faithful servant."

nothing new here

2007-03-11T17:06:00.000-06:00

i'm still here, just have been terribly busy and not thinking very creatively at the moment. i hope to add more seed stories this spring ....

keeping alert

2007-01-15T14:35:00.000-07:00

a couple years ago i went away for a few days to visit my mom for a long overdue visit. i wasn't convinced that leaving my son and my husband at home without me was a good idea, but michael assured me that he could handle the responsibilities. i called every evening to check in and see how things were going on their end. one evening when i called, i woke michael up from a nap. we chatted away, and then he told me he'd call back. it seemed that josiah wasn't where he thot he was. later i found out that while mike had fallen asleep, our son decided to go down to our basement to investigate what might be waiting for him there. our laundry room is there along with a room we keep our out of season items and in one of the rooms i have my paints, rubberstamps, stencils and fabric.

michael called out joe's name, but being non-verbal he didn't answer. so michael had to search each room of the house until he found josiah in the basement. josiah was quite content sitting on the floor of my craft storage room with a can of lavender colored paint open, the white cement floor now colored with splotches of purple. you could see where he must have tipped the can while he was trying to open the lid as it had dripped heavily on the legs of the wood table next to him. josiah had purple paint adorning his clothing, hands and shoes. mike tried hard to get joe up the stairs and into the bathroom without too much injury to the house, but along the way there are several purple handprints that commemorate his adventure.

i've often commented that caring for our son is an adventure where you need eyes in the back of your head and you have to be "on" 24/7. unless you want more suprises like the paint can fiasco michael found himself cleaning up.

needing to be alert reminded me of Jesus' time here on earth, when he was praying in the garden only to find his disciples asleep. he said to them, "So, you men could not keep watch with me for one hour? Keep watching and praying, that you may not enter into temptation; the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." Matt26:40-41 and in Col 4:2 it says: "Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving."

my need to be alert while i care for my son is one i have accepted and grown accustomed to over the years. my need to be alert in prayer is one i am just beginning to understand. for me not only do i need to be alert when i am praying before the throne of grace, but throughout my day i need to be alert to hearing and seeing those needs around me that the Lord would have me bring before Him. its so easy to go thru my day and hear about those who are in distress or need a touch of grace and yet forget all about them when my prayer time is upon me.

"Lord, help me to be attentive and alert, devoted to prayer. thank you for the opportunities to come alongside your work and be a part of the kingdom process."

to sleep or not to sleep

2007-01-02T13:05:00.000-07:00

our son, who has a genetic disability, has a problem getting to sleep and staying that way without the medications we give him. even with the meds there are nights where he wakes up and won't go back to sleep or takes a couple hours to get to sleep. this means one of his parents (usually me!) is up with him, as he can't be left alone unattended. this past month of december has seen more than its share of sleep disturbed nights.

so it was with great joy and anticipation that michael and i got away for a weekend without our son. michael usually wakes up early, but that next morning we both slept in. it was heaven! that night we stayed up late and again slept in longer than before. what a sweet gift.

i was pondering on the effects sleep and lack of sleep have on me. when i get a good nights sleep i'm renewed, energized, and ready to tackle whatever the day holds. when i am sleep deprived, no amount of coffee or sugar will energize me. i go thru the day in slow motion, yawning constantly. every action an effort that drains the few reserves i have.

i have noticed a similar reaction in my life when i don't have my time with the Lord. i made it a higher priority this past year to read the Word and have some structured prayer time in the mornings. when i did have that time with God, my days were focused, energized, and alert. i had a strength that did not come from within me. but on those days that i forgot, or skipped that time with the Lord were harder to get thru. little things would trip me up during the day. i didn't have as clear a focus as i wanted and i certainly didn't have any extra strength or energy. just as a person can't live an effective life being sleep deprived over the long term, i don't believe a christian can live an effective life without the Word of God and consistant prayer time with the Lord God Almighty.

tho the hard seasons the Lord has brought me thru have drawn me closer to Him and given me a greater desire to spend time with Him, i still struggle. and knowing the flesh and blood body i inhabit, i imagine i will probably always stuggle in this area. but that isn't a reason to give up and quit fighting. no the struggle shows me that this is worth fighting for. no matter how long i struggle to be consistant in this area, i will fight, i will press on, i will endure. just as i go to bed every night hopeful for a solid 8 hours, every day i will anticipate my time with the Lord. one gives me physical strength for the day, and the other .... oh how much more!

Need Him?

2006-12-13T02:50:00.000-07:00

As i have mentioned, we have a very needy jack russell named Daisy. I was pondering her neediness tonite. It occurred to me that becuz she is so needy that i rarely need her. i rarely take the initiative to cuddle with her and pet her becuz she is always there, jumping to get my attention, underfoot, or getting as close to me as possible as i relax on the couch. at times its downright annoying. there are times when i don't want to give her attention becuz i need to be doing other things (or wanting to). she is low man on the totem pole in this family of high needs.

so then my thots drifted to God. does He get irritated when i have needs? but no, He's not like man. He is so much bigger than that and His capacity is so much bigger than my capacity to love on daisy, He loves me and you, and welcomes the chance to show us His love. in the psalms i see the writer many times crying out to be healed, to be rescued, to be vindicated. God never seems to mind. in fact what comes to mind is His pain and sorrow over Israel in the Old Testement when they would stray away from Him. unlike my attention with daisy, the Lord doesn't have more pressing things to do than to have fellowship with me. He isn't anxious to get His more important work done. He doesn't resent it when I come to the throne of grace and ask for mercy and grace. He wants a relationship with you and i. after all, isnt' that what Jesus' sacrifice on the cross was all about?

Freedom Part 2

2006-11-09T17:25:00.000-07:00

years ago, our beloved spunkie spent a weekend at the pound after trying to find her way home from our friends home who were dogsitting for us. we had been gone for 3 days and on the day we were coming home, spunkie decided she had had enough of this lifestyle and started running home. speeding along at 60 miles an hour on a freeway it would only take 45 minutes, but being a dog, going the back roads it took her a whole day to travel half way. she plopped down under a tree in someone's yard to recover from her long day. the woman took pity on the dog and called the pound.

when we got home from our vacation i was devastated to find that spunkie had run off. i prayed and prayed. i called the different pounds in the area monday morning as soon as they were open, i put an ad in the local newspaper and i prayed some more. tues was the 4th of July. i called the different animal control centers again, and then i noticed that a small town south of us had their own animal control. one i hadnt' noticed before. i felt the still small voice of the Holy Spirit nudge me to call.

as i told the worker my plight, trying to find my dog, he didn't think he could help as they only had two dogs. but he asked me for a description of spunkie. as i described her coloring, and her collar and the fact that she was wearing a red bandana, the workers tone changed. he said "I think we have your dog" michael and i drove as fast as we could legally go to pick her up. we checked in and drove down to the pens with the worker. sure enough, there in one of the pens was our dog spunkie! as she spotted our truck and then michael and i as we got out of the truck, her barks and cries of distress turned to ones of delight. after we got the paperwork and all taken care of, we put her in the truck between us. she kept turning from one of us to the other, each time licking, barking with glee, wagging her tail and showing her doggy delight of being rescued.

being rescued on the 4th of july we often referred to that occasion later as spunkie's independence day. her day of redemption. the shelter she had been taken to was a kill shelter and if she hadn't been found the next day they would have put her to sleep. a nice euphemism for a deadly end to life.

we all need a day of redemption, a day when we are rescued by our Father to avert the inevitable. many believe that when they die they will just go to sleep in a never-never land. or they have concocted a fairy tale to keep them from being fearful. but no matter what euphemism they come up with, the truth is we all will stand before our Creator. the Lord offers us redemption before we stand before Him so that we can be clean and holy and acceptable. but we have to take Him up on His offer. He doesn't force it upon us.

so, how bout it? have you had your day of redemption?

Freedom Part 1

2006-10-30T14:33:00.000-07:00

during our marriage, michael and i have had several dogs. we love dogs and the joy that they bring to our family. some have been better than others, some have stuck around longer, some shorter durations. but one thing that has been creeping into the pattern has been our dogs running off and getting picked up and spending a day or several days at the pound. now you can imagine for a dog that has been having a hay day, running at will, playing, sniffing new smells where he has never been before, a trip to the pound would not be any fun. all of a sudden the dog is confined in a tiny 3x4 cell with a cold cement floor, and a small bowl of food and water. but the dog isn't alone, there are other dogs there, not that they can play together, but the dog can hear them. barking, usually loudly, at their loss of freedom.

when our beagle ran off the first time we couldn't find her anywhere. i called the pound but she had not been picked up. we knew that being a beagle her nose was leading her astray. beagles have the most sensitive noses of the dog world and they can smell things of interest to them over a mile away! now she may have been having a good time, but we knew she could be in danger of getting run over or sick or any other misfortune. we hoped that she would come home on her own but she didn't. after being missing for two weeks i called the pound again. yes, they had her! she had been there a week. so we know that for the first week of her wanderings she was out and about, maybe taken in by someone by her cute face and puppy loving. but she probably got away from them as well and at some point was picked up by the pound patrol.

she may have enjoyed the fruit of her sin the first week as she was carousing the town and free to do whatever she liked. but as we all know there are consequences and repercussions to our actions. it may look like freedom to run away and do whatever her doggie heart desired, but it was just a precurser to prison. isnt' that what the story of the prodigal son shares? the young man goes away and spends all his time carousing, until he is out of money and out of friends. soon he is in a pig pen, fighting with the pigs for a morsel of food. just as sophie was in the dog pen waiting for redemption, we also can be stuck in our own prison, enduring the consequences of our actions. but the Father is waiting for us, watching the road to catch a glimpse of us returning home.

sudoku

2006-09-23T10:37:00.000-06:00

my husband has gotton hooked on the japanese puzzle sudoku. he bought himself a book full of the puzzles and started with the easy ones, went on to the medium ones and is now figuring out the hard puzzles.

sudoku is a puzzle of logic. there is only one correct answer for each square and if you get it wrong it starts a domino effect that is hard to reverse.

life is like a giant sudoku puzzle. when we come to a square we try to fill it in, maybe its a crossroads we've come to or a decision we need to make, but if we have built our life on a faulty foundation then it can result in alot of pain. sometimes we try to erase the mistakes we've made but often we don't even know which square has the wrong number in it.

but in life, as in sudoku, there is a right answer. and we can find those answers in the Word of God. the Lord has laid out directions showing us how to live our lives. proverbs is replete with wisdom about how to live life, as are many other books both new and old testement.

i find in my life its not so much the wisdom isn't there, but rather i haven't searched the scriptures to find the wisdom or if i know what is right i don't do it. wisdom without obedience is not wisdom. so like sudoku, instead of guessing i will search until i find the right answer and the put it in the box. how about you?

the lawnmower

2006-09-17T11:27:00.000-06:00

our son joe loves lawnmowers. when the family comes over to mow our lawn on mondays he bounces for joy at seeing them take out the lawnmower and start to get to work. if we're around and we feel like giving him a little fun, we let him go outside and he will chase the person mowing the lawn, up and down the yard, laughing boisterously at the fun of it all. when we go to the local hardware store he points to where the lawnmowers are sitting and if our attention wanders we can always find him there.

a couple weeks ago my husband and i started talking about looking for an old lawnmower at a garage sale to pick up for joe. something he could push around the lawn for fun and exercise. a few days later joe got out of the house, before we could blink we were looking all over for him. we found him coming down the sidewalk pushing a red lawnmower. we assumed it was our neighbors so we put in his back yard. the next day our n'bor told us it wasn't his. so joe and michael pushed the lawnmower to the next n'bors house. it wasn't theirs either so they left it on the front sidewalk hoping that the owner would see it and grab it. after 3 or 4 days no one had claimed it.

during those 3 days joe insistantly told us in his non-verbal way that he wanted to push that lawnmower. since no one had claimed it we decided it was a gift from God for Joe and let him play with it. we leave it on our front lawn in case the rightful owner should turn up to claim it, after 2 weeks no one has.

i am in awe of God's goodness and compassion in my son's life. if he could i'm sure joe would have prayed and asked God for a lawnmower, in his own way he was always asking us for one! and even tho joe couldn't pray the way we tend to think of prayer, God granted his fervent request and brought a lawnmower to him. tho i dont' know if joe understands that this is a gift from heaven, he is happy and shows his thankfulness every day by the joy he exhibits as he pushes that old lawnmower around the yard.

i am inspired by my son's example of thankfulness. i too, want to react with joy when the Lord brings a gift into my life, whether i have been praying for it or not. i want to acknowledge that He is the giver of all good things and that those good things that come into my life are not driven by luck or chance, but by a Heavenly Father who loves me. i want to enjoy those gifts that the Lord brings, but also remember that they are on loan. i am not the rightful owner. i must hold loosely what God has given me in case He takes it away.

"Every good thing bestowed and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights." James 1:17

sept 19th, postscript:

sunday afternoon after i wrote this, daisy ran away. after walking around the n'borhood looking for her and talking with a couple n'bors we had to conclude that she was gone. hoping that she would make her way home, by nighttime those hopes were dashed.

i woke up that night feeling sad and fretful about losing daisy. but i have to conclude that it was not a coincidence in timing. the Lord was testing me, to see if i was really living what i was sharing. so i had to give daisy over to the Lord. the verse from Job came to mind "the Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord" and so i gave her over to the Lord, thankful for the time we had had with her.

monday michael suggested i call the pound just in case. i wasn't enthused about doing so as i had truly thot she was gone for good, but i called. they didn't have her, but they took my name just in case. 3 hours later the pound called and said they thot they might have her. we went to check it out. the walls reverbrated with the sounds of barking dogs. i went down the aisle scanning to see if there was a black and white terrier. i saw one that was similiar and my heart sank, it wasn't her, but i kept walking. at the end of the room in the last kennel was daisy, trembling with fear. once she saw me she stood up and a huge smile replaced her earlier woeful look. i couldn't believe it was our daisy. the Lord had restored her to us. after taking care of the paperwork we took her home and she and i snuggled on the couch.

i am in awe of how the Lord works in our lives and how He is faithful to teach us what we need to know. its easy to share things that the Lord brings to mind but harder to actually live them out. yet the Lord knows that if its just words, it has no power. it must be in my heart and my life to make a difference. i pray that this lesson will stay in my heart forever. may all of us be able to say "The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away, Blessed be the name of the Lord"

sting rays

2006-09-12T19:36:00.000-06:00

having an 8 yr old son in the family, we have been avid fans of "The Crocodile Hunter" for the past few years. steve irwin made a name for himself catching and relocating crocs down under where he lived. josiah loved his show, esp when steve was feeding the crocodiles fresh meat and the snapping jaws of a croc would just miss steve's leg or arm.

so it was with much sadness that we learned of steve's untimely death last weekend, having been stung by a stingray in the chest as he and his camera man were shooting another special. as the tale unfolded, it seemed that steve had been swimming above the stingray which had then flipped over and whipped its stinger into steve's chest. steve instinctively pulled the stinger out of his chest thus creating a gaping hole and losing massive amounts of blood before losing consciousness. he died before help could fly him to a hospital.

i overheard two women talking about the incident and one mentioned that if steve had not have pulled the stinger out he may have lived. one never knows, but doctors advise that if you have something lodged in your chest area, your head or around your mouth that you get a doctor to take care of it instead of trying to take it out yourself.

i thot of the many times i have been wounded, not physically, but emotionally and spiritually. my first instinct is to pull the stinger out and throw it back at the person who has hurt me. but i only end up a bloody mess when i do that. it seems to hurt twice as much, and then i have to watch out for more falling stingers aimed at me from the one i just threw one at. i'm slowly learning that it is better to take my wound to the Lord and allow Him to pull out the stinger and heal the wound. it seems to hurt less that way .... and the stinging arrows stop flying towards me. going to the Lord and having Him pull out the stinger allows forgiveness and restoration to be given and received between me and the other party....

either way the barb hurts, but if i take it to the Lord He has wonderful ointment that soothes the pain and heals the open wound. He comforts and consoles me as i give Him all my pain. He is after all, the Great Physician.

the car wash

2006-09-02T16:18:00.000-06:00

we have been saying we need to get the car washed ever since we got home from vacation. finally, this morning we had a moment to do so. daisy, our jack russell was with us. she is still a puppy and we have only had her a little over a month. this was her first trip thru the car wash with us.

daisy is a needy dog. she was found wandering around home depot by my girlfriend and tho we love her dearly, she is a bit high strung. even when we are not going thru a car wash she wants to be right next to us or even on our laps. she doesn't seem to understand that a dog her size on a driver's lap just isn't going to happen.

the workers started to soap up the windshield and soon they were spraying all the windows. daisy wasn't sure what to make of all the water and noise. she crowded close to me and tried to get on my lap. instead, michael scooped her up into his arms and held her tight. she nestled into his arms, trembling as the big machines started to swish the cloth strips around and over our van.

"though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil; for thou art with me."

there is great comfort knowing that the Lord is with us thru the valleys we go thru. whether they are scary car washes, stays in the hospital for some unknown illness, or some other unsettling situation, we can draw close to the Father, knowing that He will pick us up and comfort us, walk with us through the valley and that we don't have to fear any evil. sounds good to me!

the stars

2006-09-01T10:05:00.000-06:00

i didn't want to leave the tent that night, but nature was calling. we didn't have a flashlight so i was going to have to make my way somehow thru the dark up the campsite road to the restrooms. at first i took very tentative steps until my eyes adjusted to the faint light of the stars. as my eyes adjusted to the dark, i looked up. with trees on either side of the road i could only see a sliver of the sky but that small sliver was loaded with stars. dozens, hundreds, too many for me to count in just a small speck of sky that i could see.

i remembered one of my fav verses from isaiah 40. "Lift up your eyes on high and see who has created the stars; the One who leads forth their host by number, He calls them by name; because of the greatness of His might and the strength of His power not one of them is missing."

i think i gloss over the majesty of God creating the stars cuz i have heard that since i was a young girl, but then it hits me, He also named them. how many million or billion are out there? and He has named each and every one of them! and He remembers all those names!! the thought boggles my finite mind. i can't even remember all the names of all the people i have met in the past year, let alone a gazillion stars. and then if that is not enough, after creating them, and after naming them, He makes sure that none of them get lost or go missing. He oversees them all.

this is a good reminder for me when life seems to overwhelm me with trials and complications. i concentrate on God and His might, His power and my world suddenly comes into perspective.

the mountain

2006-08-28T13:58:00.000-06:00

last week we decided to head west. we wanted to see family and also visit the oregon coast. we haven't done that in several years and were itching to get our toes in the warm sand.

as we were driving and getting closer to western washington i got my first glimpse of Mt Rainier. it is a majestic, snow covered peak and i LOVE looking at it any chance i can get. my husband is vision impaired. mainly what that means is he can't see very well. most of his eye nerves have died out so he has a narrow field of view as well as not having much long distance sight ability. when we look up at the stars at night, he only sees the brightest stars, if he can see any at all.

so when i saw mt rainier, i exclaimed "there's the mountain! what a gorgeous sight!" michael looked at the perfect blue sky and announced that he didn't see anything. tho he couldn't see that the mountain was there, he knew it was cuz he had seen it many times before and he believed me when i told him that it was there. later as we got closer, he saw it for himself.

i wish i was more trusting of what i don't see. many times i know the Lord wants me to trust Him that what He is telling me is there, is there. whether its finances that we need, a healing touch from Him, or an answer to prayer .... but i act like since i can't see it, its not there!

Lord, give me eyes of faith to trust tho i cannot see, and faith to follow you wherever you lead.

spunkie's example

2006-08-20T10:06:00.000-06:00

during our first year of marriage, my husband got me a cute little mutt of a dog. we named her spunkie since she was so rambunctious as a young pup. we made the mistake of feeding her scraps from the table, but being the obedient dog she was she would wait patiently for a hand out.

i remember sitting at the table eating my meal and having spunkie sitting next to me, her expectant eyes trained on my every move. she wouldn't leave or turn her head until there was no more chances of a juicy handout being given. if i got up from the table she was right there at my heels.

then one day i was reading ps 123:2 "as the eyes of a maid to the hand of her mistress; so our eyes look to the Lord our God, until He shall be gracious to us." since i dont' have a maid and probably never will, i thot of spunkie...

sadly, i realize that i don't keep my eyes glued on the Lord waiting for Him to give me a treat. i get distracted often, i leave the room, i get impatient, but then i remember spunkie's example. i need to be more like her. expectant, patient, hopeful of what my master may give me, attentive. and like a maid to her mistress, i need to be ready to do my master's bidding the minute he says "go" or "come".

what a joy to know at the end of that verse, it implies that if i wait long enough, the Lord WILL be gracious to me. now that is a treat worth waiting for!

the apple tree

2006-08-16T09:19:00.000-06:00

when we moved into our house in Sumner we inherited an old apple tree. my husband, being in the tree industry, decided it needed a good trimming. this tree probably hadn't been pruned in over a decade. it was knarly and there were limbs crisscrossing every which way. it was an ugly mess, but my husband saw what it could be like, what it should be like.

he went to work trimming the branches, cutting, cutting and cutting some more. when he was finished there were very few branches left. it looked decimated. but he assured me that this old tree had needed a severe pruning in order to bring back order and purpose to it. all fall and winter i looked at that tree and wondered if we'd have to take it down eventually. but in the spring new growth appeared. new branches started growing and it began leafing out. over the next few years we were at that house, that tree began bearing fruit and looked better than i ever imagined it could be. it was a stately, old apple tree bearing fruit and spreading its branches to shade us during the summer afternoons.

many times i have felt like that old apple tree. way out of control, left to grow without a good pruning, until the Master Pruner comes along and gives me a severe pruning. sometimes i wonder why He waited so long, but most times i know He was giving me the opportunity to voluntarily come back in line with His will. and when i didn't or wouldn't, He would step in with the pruning shears. not wanting to have to cut down the tree altogether He would cut and cut and cut some more ......

lessons from a beagle

2006-08-16T09:07:00.000-06:00

we had a beagle for a short while. her name was sophie, and tho she was the cutest little tyke you've ever seen, she had a rebellious and disobedient streak that manifested itself over and over again.

when she had done something naughty, she wouldn't take her punishment, but would rather run and hide behind the couch or under the bed. at first we chased after her and tried to nab her, so that she would take her punishment, then we decided to wait her out. neither was satisfactory as she wasn't truly repentent and would do the same naughty deed only minutes later.

what i noticed was that when sophie was hiding from us so as to avoid any consequences for her actions, there was no relationship between us. there was no cuddling or walks outside, no playing fetch or wrestling. tho i was ready to forgive at any moment she was not ready to be forgiven.

i wonder how often i behave that way with God. am i so afraid of the punishment or consequences of my sin that i avoid Him and thus, cut off our relationship? how much better to quickly get it out of the way, repent and return to fellowship with the Lord. He's ready to forgive, am i ready to admit i need forgiveness and humble myself before Him?

the mama dog and the cliff

2006-08-15T10:57:00.000-06:00

a few years ago i was going thru a tough time. i was really doubting God and His goodness in my life. i even contemplated chucking my faith and beliefs that i had held all my life.

then the Lord gave me a picture of a cliff, a canyon. one that went straight down and if you fell you were a goner. on the edge of the cliff was a puppy dog. she was too close to the edge, she could fall off at any moment. but then i saw the mama dog. she had her mouth around the scruff of the puppy's neck, holding onto her so she couldn't fall. the puppy was safe. she could gaze down into the abyss but she couldn't fall. the mama dog loved her too much to let her go .....

Jude 24 " Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy"

soon after i realized that what i believed was true and i knew that the Lord had held me fast as i gazed down into the canyon of destruction ....

talking with God

2006-08-15T10:47:00.000-06:00

i have a non-verbal son. he is 8 now, and we have learned to communicate thru a bit of sign, some gestures and learning what his body language means. last weekend hubby was out of town so it was just joe and i. becuz he doesn't talk, it made for a very quiet (and boring) weekend.

as i was walking down the stairs, following my son, i wondered if God might feel like communicating with us is a bit like communicating with my son. is all i do is let God know what my wants and needs are? does he have to do all the talking? could it be that God would prefer a deeper communication with me?

so then i thought, well, how could i communicate with God in a deeper way? and it struck me that when i get to know a new friend i want to find out all about them: what they are like, where they've been, what they like and dislike, what experiences they have had, what they want for the future and so on.

and so, i'm off to find out the answers to all of these questions about God. i'm sure it will be enlightening to find out what God is like and what He has done since the world began, what He likes and dislikes and what He wants for the future ....

want to come along on the adventure with me?

What is a Seed Story?

2006-08-15T10:43:00.000-06:00

my sister was telling me about an author she was reading who talked about seed stories. these are little nuggets of a story that have a big impact. a moral or a lesson involved. i thought this would be perfect as i am always seeing seed stories in my life.

so here is a random collection of seed stories that i have gathered thruout the years. enjoy!