Friday, August 15, 2008

The Rock

today we were up at our new favorite spot on the river north of boise. it is a wonderful, quiet spot with a sandy beach on a calm part of the river. perfect for josiah to play in the water and the sand. perfect for michael and i to be close by but relaxing on our lawn chairs ... chatting, reading or dreaming.

to get back to the picnic area josiah and i walked tentatively on the trail as it was steep and littered with boulders every foot or so. as i took josiah's hand to help him along we switched places. now with josiah in the front going up a steep mound, i pushed him along. josiah's balance isn't the best nor is his footing. he gets scared easily on uneven ground.

as i was giving josiah help from behind, josiah lost his footing and started falling back onto me. his weight pushing against me, made me lose my balance and i started to fall back as well. as i grabbed josiah, hoping to right myself up again, my backside and legs met up with a very large boulder and i sat right down. i was able to help josiah regain his balance and i popped up again and we made our way back to the picnic table.

when we first found out about josiah's special needs, i lost my footing. i had no clue how to raise a child with needs. i had studied homeschooling, parenting books, and preschool lessons. i thot i knew what i needed in order to parent. after all, i had been preparing for a long time. but nothing prepared me for a non-verbal, hyperactive, needy child. i found myself falling and it was only when i realized that i had fallen against the Rock, the rock that is the Lord, that i was able to regain my bearings and move forward.

i often fall, don't we all? but i can either struggle and try to get up in my own strength or i can see that i have fallen against the Rock and allow Him to be my strength, my foundation, my comfort. i am so glad that He is there for me. and that His strength, His rock solid dependability is what i stand on, rely on, rest upon. i don't have to go thru this life alone, doing everything in my own strength. i have Him, the Lord, my Rock and Salvation.