waking up is hard to do

today was joe's first day of school. we have had the luxury of sleeping in all summer, but today marked the first day, not just of school, but of getting up at 7am to be ready for his yellow school bus. i got up at ten til the hour and got myself dressed. i turned on my radio loud enough that i knew joe would be able to hear it in his room down the hall. then i went into his room and turned on his light. i got his clothes together that he would later put on and laid them on his bed. joe was still huddled, eyes closed, and ignoring mom as best he could. when i spoke, he just gestured to the light. that is his sign for "turn it off" so i told him he could sleep in a little while longer and turned off the light. then he gestured to the bed beside him. usually that means sit by me, but somehow i didn't think so. i asked him if he wanted his blanket, which had been kicked off sometime during the night. he nodded yes, so i covered him up. before i left his room he had his eyes closed and his breathing deepened into that slumberland sound.

i chuckled to myself at his behavior as i went down the stairs to greet michael who was also getting ready for his first day of school. i pondered on how little joe can communicate and yet, i try to make up for his lack by anticipating his needs and reading between the lines of his signs, gestures and vocalizations.

and vocalizing he has been! this summer joe stumped us many times trying to tell us something, using grunts, squeals, signs and gestures. sadly, often i had to tell him "joe, i dont' know what you're trying to say."

the Lord brought to mind his scripture from Romans that says: "In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God." Rom 8:26-27

i am so glad that when i don't know how to pray, how to talk to the Lord, how to express in words my feelings and thoughts, that the Lord steps in and intercedes on my behalf. like joe, i struggle to get the words out, to communicate, but God is there. He knows what i'm trying to say, He knows my innermost thoughts and He is interceding on my behalf! wow--what a great God we serve!

i'm struggling right now how to pray for my mom while she battles this cancer. at times, emotions overwhelm me and the words won't come, but i am confident in God's provision and His tender care. i love the fact that not only is He interceding on my behalf as one of the saints, but that His prayers are in accordance with the will of God! He knows how to pray for my mom and myself even when all can do is point and gesture, just like Joe.

the Father's Arms

our daisy is a bit of a scaredy cat. a couple weeks ago she heard something in the middle of the night and barked her head off. she sleeps downstairs by herself, so when she gets scared she doesn't have anyone to run to.

last nite, i heard a big ol truck making a racket driving down the road. it might have been a fire engine .... anyway, daisy heard it too. but instead of barking, she found a slight opening in the door to our room and tiptoed in. she came to my side of the bed and gently put her paws up on the bed. i could tell she was asking if she could come up. so what's a mom to do when one of her family is wanting to be comforted? i let her come up. she immediately sought out my arms and cuddled as close as she could. i wrapped my arm around her and she settled down and went to sleep.

as i was laying in bed, pondering daisy's actions, it occured to me that dont' we do the same when we are faced with a scary situation. we look for comfort and warm arms to hold us. i found out last week that my mom had a suspicious looking mammogram. they have scheduled a biopsy for later this week. we talked for a bit and she assured me that she is trusting the Lord whatever the outcome. she has sought out the comfort of the Father's arms.

i marvel at my mom's peace in the face of another health scare. and yet, i know that it isn't of her own strength, but the Lord working in and thru her. she has followed Him all her life and knows Him as her Father. she is a reminder and a role model for me when troubles come into my own life. i can run to the things of the world for comfort, or i can run to the Father's arms. they are always open to recieve his children. like daisy, i can sleep peacefully while hidden in the arms of my Father.

Psalms 91 Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust him. For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease. He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection.

Postscript: August 27th

the results of my mom's biopsy showed 2 cancerous tumors. so now she and the ones who love her get to lean into the Father's arms even more. while we know her ultimate destination is assured, its not always fun to go thru the journey. i am praying for many more healthy years with her, but we are not assured even one more day on this planet.

i thank you for your prayers in advance for my mom and for our family as we walk thru this with her.

reminded again how much i need to rest in the Father's arms, gail

the potted plant

i don't know much about potted plants. i don't have a green thumb when it comes to things growing in pots, but i do know that you don't want to have a plant become root bound in a pot. plants need room for their roots and every once in awhile they need to be repotted into a larger pot.

for the last few years here in twin i have felt like a potted plant. i've felt hindered, i've felt like my roots have nowhere to grow. i want to be rooted in the soil of an outdoor garden where the air is fresh, the sunshine on my face and room to breathe. i feel that the master gardener needs to plant me somewhere else. so what does a pot do when the master gardener says its not time yet?

this has been a time of learning to wait on the Lord, and wait on His timing. mike will be transfering to BSU at some point, but even that timeline has changed, and isn't set in concrete. i must learn to wait. to trust. to rely on the Lord and know that in His wisdom, He knows when the plant needs to be repotted. its not the plant that gets to decide, its the gardener.

for my part, i need to continue to grow. that is my job while i'm here in this pot. to grow, to give off fruit, to provide shade .... and whatever else the Lord would have for me to do while i'm in this pot.

"Blessed are those who trust in the Lord and who have made the Lord their hope and confidence." Jer 17:7