border collies

i once watched a pbs program about border collies on a sheep ranch in new zealand. i was amazed at these dogs and how they could round up a herd of sheep, just by being behing the herd and running back and forth, steering the sheep where they wanted them to go. once the sheep were in the docket where the dogs had wanted them to go to, i saw one of the dogs running on the backs of the sheep! wow!

lately i've been feeling like the Lord has unleashed his angelic border collies on me. i feel like i'm being herded from behind to go where the Lord wants me to go.

off and on over the last year, mike and i have discussed using less of the personal care services the state of idaho provides for us to help with josiah. we have been feeling that as josiah has been getting older he has needed help from the state less, and we could do more and we would like to do more with him. he's still a 24/7 kind of kid where you need eyes in the back of your eyes. whenever mike and i talk, we always say we're going to reduce the aid's hours, but then when the time comes we never do. the last time we chatted about this was just a couple weeks ago. but this time it was like the Lord decided to let out the border collies. within a week we got a call from the nurse who oversees the care and said that they had run into a problem. seems that the aid who had been working with joe didn't have all the credentials needed for the job. i told mike that i wouldn't be suprised if the agency dropped joe altogether becuz of the red tape and headaches that medicaid tends to make in these situations. 2 days later we got a call from the head medicaid nurse and after some arm twisitng from her i told her that we would be fine going without personal care services for joe.

i knew that this was from the Lord, that this was the direction that He was taking us, but nonetheless, it was a very scary idea. i remember the days of sleep deprivation and being ready to tear my hair out chasing after his incessent,impulsive, non-stop curiousity and motion.

its only been a few days, and yes there have been some rough spots, but all in all, i'm learning to trust that the Lord is in control and does know what is best for our family. even when i don't think i can handle something, He pushes me along, nipping at my heels as needed to get me to keep moving forward. i love the fact that with border collies they are working hand in hand with their masters, who are using whistles to guide them. i'm not sure how that fits in with this seed story, but i see the Lord, my Master, as being the one who guides the circumstances, people, and situations to move me along to where He wants me to be! i guess that makes me a dumb sheep after all!!!

the campfire

why is fire so interesting to watch?

last week we went on a short camping trip. the first night there, we lit a fire. both michael and i enjoy watching a campfire, as many do. its mesmerizing. its hypnotic. its calming. the fire is never predictible, but its consistent. as long as there is fuel to burn, it will burn on.

josiah also loves fires. his idea of fun is to find a piece of grass or a piece of paper and toss it in and watch the fire burn it up immediately. if paper, grass or twigs are unavaiable, he has been known to throw dirt or rocks into the fire, just to see if they will burn.

there are many ways fire can be related to our christian walk, more than i could possibly write about here. the thot that came to me as i was staring into the campfire that night was what kind of fuel am i burning as a follower of the Lord? the quick, small bursts of flames that were produced by what joe would throw in or the long-lasting logs that kept the fire burning for hours? one gives a quick burst of flame, but is quickly gone, the other may take longer to catch on fire but once it does it burns long, and hot.

unfortunately, i feel that alot of times in my christian walk i burn hot and fast, and peeter out soon after. whether its a discipline of daily reading my Bible, or being patient with my son. instead i want to be the long burning fire, the consistent, reliable, warmning fire that makes others want to stop and stare for awhile at the flames.